I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize