I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize