I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
