You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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