somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How many fucks given?
0.12846
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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