drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ttyl tear gas
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize