Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
