i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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