Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
