I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ugly people sure do ruin things
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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