He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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