Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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