Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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