I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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