How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize