One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
