i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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