she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize