already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
