My room smells like vodka and shame
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think a kid would responsible me up
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
how drunk are you?
Several
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
