I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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