I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
