every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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