Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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