Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
