yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
