I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
