Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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