Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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