Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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