Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
