Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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