Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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