But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
