spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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