Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
