Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
