I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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