I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
