WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
