yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
