tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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