I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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