there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
