Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize