it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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