You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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