I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
