Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My penis needs a shock collar
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
