so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Will exercising make me less horny?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
