Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
