did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
