i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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