HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
