Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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