i permit you to call me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
