I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
